There is a lot of problems, maybe separate quirks or disorders… anyways, sorry for the length and good luck figuring this one out!
I used to be afraid of being touched, literally jumping into the air if someone poked me, even if it was a close friend and I expected it. I have always been a loner in the past and was the made fun of kid. I still prefer to keep everything to myself and do everything by myself, and I am my own worst critique. I don’t care what anyone thinks, it is my own judgment I must pass, and I am a very picky judge. I lose my vision occasionally for a few seconds at a time and walk around not being able to see a thing (no one notices because I’ve learned to play it off decently and continue to talk to them). I panic sometimes for no reason, and feel like I am freezing or going to die or a heart attack, but I know it happens often (used to be every day, now only a coupe times a week) and I will be fine. When I panic, I always cry continuously for between 20 min and 3 hours, but I always make sure I am alone and no one can hear or see me so they don’t worry. During this time I often think about suicide or running away (I am 19 living at home) but I do not take action because I promised myself I would never commit suicide because it would make friends and family unhappy, plus it is a waste of a life that can be fixed. I can also get extremely happy and hyper, with a surge of adventure and a love and passion for everything, but this can change quickly usually based on how others around me feel. I get very angry about small things and the word sorry means nothing to me when I am mad. I sometimes make big decisions when I am mad, like quitting my last job and breaking up with my boyfriend both regret later (when I apologized he took me back). I don’t react to major things. If I am in a lot of pain I couldn’t care less. I sometimes purposely cause myself physical pain to take my mind off things. If someone I am close to is in any pain, I feel it myself and end up experiencing the same thing, sometimes worse then the person with the actually sickness or pain. I don’t have my license because I am terrible with directions and can